snowed under.

I hate the feeling, of having too many things to do, and not having enough time. But I just keep making it worse for myself, making promises I can't keep, and leaving people behind.

I'm sorry, I will make time, I haven't forgotten.

I really don't understand.

Why the girl's at my school, or just any girl, feels the need to stick their fingers down their throat.
I think it's so dumb to let their weight run their life's.
Sure like any girl, I worry about my looks, but I really don't see the point in doing harmful things like that too your body, the long term effects are so bad for you, and most girls just don't realise.
also, most of it is just an attention thing, telling people you do it, "bragging" about it. Why? no one thinks it's good.
you all really need to stop and realise what people are actually saying, and take a good look at your self and what your turning into.
and also what about, when you get to that "good weight", once you stop, you will most likely put all the weight back on, or your body will just be stuffed.
you all don't realise what the longer term effects of this really are, and really none of you were that "big" to start off with, you really need to be happier with in your self.

but hey, you probably wont take any of that in, so i'm going back to watch skins.

this.

Is everything that I have ever wished for, everything that I've ever wanted.
Just by looking into his eyes, I know he loves me, and he knows I love him back.

the fear of being in the unknown.

this sucks so hard.
i need to know what happening.
but i'm so scared to find out.
because, one answer will make everything.
and the other will break everything.

age.

personally, i really don't see why age matters, in certain aspects of life.
like being to young or old to do things. i think that is dumb, because when you,
get to the point when its seen to be "okay" you will either be inexperienced,
or will abuse it, and bad things will happen.
in some things i really don't see there being a point to an age limit.
and telling people they are too old to do something is just mean,
you know that saying; "your as young as you feel." i think people should live
by that, so you don't have stupid age requirements holding you back from
the things, you have wanted to do so bad.
and i think younger people should use that saying as well, not in the way
to say smoking or other harmful things are good to do, but stuff that they
have wanted to do, and if harming there bodies is one, let them.
sure most of the time, age requirements are there, to keep us save, but i think
that if we want to do it, it should be our mistake if something was to happen.

just a little rant about some thing that happened in my day and made me in a shit mood.

life.

Life mean's so many different things to different people.
a 5 year old is going to have different views on in then a 80 year old.
And something i have learnt lately, is that no one can tell you, your out
look on life is wrong. I have always been pretty open with the stuff that
i have been through, and got the whole response that you would expect.
but that's not what i'm looking for.
and no, i'm not saying this, too make it seem like my life is the worst.
Because i actually quite like my life, and i know there are people that are
worse off. all im saying is with the things i have dealt with, it has made me
muture in those situations.
im happy for the loving family i have, but everything would not be
the same with out that one certain boy, no this isnt a "OMG I TOTZ LOVE
MY BOYFRIEND FOREVER" thing.
its a thank you for being a best friend on and off for three years, then taking
the step to being a lover.

but anyway, im really sick and im tired, ill write more one day.
thanks.