Need room to breathe.

New blog.

2009-10-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

http://thesleepingeye.wordpress.com/
More then likely, won't be using this anymore.

"It might be your breathe, but I think it's your face."

2009-10-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, was pretty average. Saw Mel, who I hadn't seen since Hardcore. Got stuck in the stupid fucking rain. Mind moshed to Blkouts No Warning cover. Wanted to kill everyone that was getting down with Da Nutz, and I would really love to know what moisturizer Aikko uses.
Thursday, Didn't do very much. Drove around. Saw Owens nan. Picked up our star shots, and made yummy dinner.
Friday, Me and Owen got really into watching King Kong. Boring trip into the city. Got on another stupid bus to Baldface Stag. Laughed at Dave. Got more shit from Aikko. Had beer spilt on me. Then got home and had peanut butter samidges.
Saturday, Laughed at the fucking idiots that work at Hungry Jacks. Went shopping at Aldi with Kim. Had a box fight with Ryan. Decided I want to throw cheap food at customers for a living, in an office chair of course. Then came home.
Sunday, Slept in. Got ready and got the train to the city. Missed our train to Blacktown by a second. Finally got to Blacktown hung around for awhile. Saw Daylight, They were soo good. Almost died of hunger, Then finally came home.

12:52 AM

2009-10-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

Laying here, awake, not knowing what to do with myself.
I don't like waking up and falling asleep in an empty bed.
I was looking through old photos, I miss this;

<3

2009-10-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today really made me remember little things that have made everything so great. When you were at school, making me giggle and not knowing I had a massive crush on you in year eight. Our first kiss outside the roundhouse, When I kissed you and ran away. I was so scared I did the wrong thing and that you didn't want me to. First date, where we just hung around Palm beach wharf for hours. When you came over and made me have a nose bleed. Kissing in the fail of a cubby house. The first time I meet your family, I freaked out so much, now they are basically my family. When you gave me my necklace on the way home from the snowy mountains because you forgot to take it out of the car. Laying on your cheast on the trampoline looking at the sky talking about the future. When I tired to surprise you by coming over and waking you up, but you were awake. Our train trips. The day we went to Newtown and around the City. The plane to Carins and being dorks at the pool. Our lovely spitting fights and wrestling. Murder in the dark with your brother. Falling asleep in your arms for the first time.
Everything about you, I love. I'm sorry for the little annoying things I do.
But just remember,I really do love you.

2009-10-05T17:39:00.001-07:00

Why do I let that stuff get too me so fucking much?

~

2009-10-05T00:14:00.000-07:00

Okay so, This weekend didn't really go to plan at all. We didn't end up going to the show, because of the shit weather, and I just wanted to stay in. We hung out and worked on Owen's new car, Yes I actually helped haha.
This week I've got,

On Friday Break even and Shinto at The Baldface Stag.
Then

Come say Hey :)

Unwritten.

2009-10-01T00:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I only have around seven or so weeks till I'm finished with Barrenjoey, This thought doesn't scar me, But isn't it meant to, The fact that I am done with high school and most of my friends will just be people I once knew.. I don't know. I just can't wait to start new, Not have those same thoughts on me and those same memories.
Today, I pissed my mum off for the first time in my life. If you knew my mother, you would know how hard it is. She is a quite lady that doesn't have much to say about anything, and nothing really seems to make her angry. Me and my mother have a really good relationship, I'm very close with her, and the fact I'm hardly here, really must get too her.
I'm really excited on this weekend/holidays.
This weekend, Owen get's his new car, and on saturday we are going to Newtown, for a show. We get to have BURGER FUEL, woooooo. haha.

I just found out that I have a 2 month or so gap between, when I finish school and when I start TAFE.
I think I'll need a job, or I'll go mad. >.<

Just end,

2009-09-28T00:06:00.000-07:00

I'm really not liking school right now, well I always hate it but trials suck, I hate them. It's like why can't this be it, why trials then more exams, its so gay.
I got home today for the first time in four days, My mum had cleaned my room and made my bed, So keen on sleeping haha.
I filled in all my TAFE stuff and sending it away tomorrow, Yay. I just want this year to end.

Thoughts.

2009-09-23T04:05:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really, confused, uncomfortable, and upset.
Little things get to me, and something that I saw today, really got too me. Things that were said in that clip, have more meaning behind them then you may think. Or maybe I'm just making it all up in my head. I don't want to care, It means nothing, but I can't help it. I'm sorry, I don't trust you, and I never will. Please just disappear.

You wont get this, I just needed to vent.

I hate you.

2009-09-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

Shut up, Your so up yourself.
Jump off a cliff.

Please and thank you.

Cairns.

2009-09-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

Just got back from being away in Cairns for a week. Too much to write about just lurk photo's.

We got bored, hanging out by the pool. The camera came in use:

Night zoo.

THIS dude right here, made our night.

The snake was hotter then me.

Skippy knows what's up.
Driving.

:|

Sushi train.

\m/

Things that could eat you.

Wet.

Cookie dough.

2009-09-06T02:06:00.000-07:00

Alrighttttttttt...
Thursday night, I went out for dinner for my (early) birthday with Heidi, Lizzy, Sarah and Jemmah. It was so much fun, I hadn't seen Jemmah, Since last years birthday dinner. This year She didn't put her face in my cake but we sure made a mess of it. They gave me a fighting fish, It's name is cookie dough, It's soooo pretty.
School went for sooooooo long on Friday, It finally ended and Owen gave and picked me up. We just hung out, It was good. I got gifts, It was so cute, And his family got me a cake and sung me happy birthday, It kinda failed but it was so sweet.
Saturday, We just hung out, I cleaned Owen's room. That's about it, Haha.
I was meant to have Mel and Jasmin over on Saturday night, But that plan didn't work out, So i stayed at Owen's again. We played Twisster and watched the cutest movie..

Today was pretty chilled, didn't do very much, Went down to some shop and Owen got the fucking Vans sticker I wanted >.<
Have a BBQ for lunch, Hung out for abit then I came home....
I WANT THIS...

Going away on Wednesday, So excited.

Snooze button.

2009-09-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

I just want it too be next week!
Monday was nice and relaxed, I watched the 12 drama class perform for their HSC, They did a group act and a monologue. It looked so etch, I'm so happy I'm not going to year 11 and 12.
Tuesday, just started bad, I got in a bad mood and it seemed to stick, Didn't help getting a suspension warning, And a Friday arvo, Which I will most likey not go to, So there for I will get in more shit, Oh well hah.
The bad mood stuck on to today, I had some annoying kids on the ferry sitting behind me, Touch me, Singing in my ear, and just being SOOO annoying! They are those annoying kids that know that you can't do anything back to them, so they keep annoying you.
I had to go to sport today, that sucked. And which made it worse, The teacher was a bitch and made us late.
But it got better when Owen came and picked me up, We went back to his, and chilled for abit, Then got lollies and went to the wharf. I got home and got good news, I'm booked in at 11 to get my new extensions, Then I'm going to the airport.
WOOOOP, Birthday in 8 days, So keen to go away with Owen ^_^

I'm sinking..

2009-08-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

Like a stone, in the sea.
Well, The week was just full of up and down emotion. So over it. My weekend was really good though. Friday after school Owen picked me up and we went back to his for alittle bit, Then I got ready to go to Hannah's for a girl night for her birthday.
I was only there for about an hour. But it was fun, Just to hang out.

Saturday was pretty chill. Went to Bunnings, and had everyone in Owen's family ripping on me, It wasn't very nice. Then went and got lunch, That I almost died from eating. Got the ferry to mine, Got dressed then headed down to Newcastle for,

It was a good show. Had fun, Laughing at Owen.
Today, I stayed in my pj's all day. Me and Owen made a stack of pancakes. We couldn't eat it all, So we gave it too my dog, Hah. We spent the day in bed, drawing, watching Shrek 2 and laughing at each other being fucks.
Now i'm alone and bored. Wow, I'm really not a fan of Idol.

Worthless.

2009-08-26T00:58:00.000-07:00

I can't even help the one person in my life that has helped me the most, Even when the things she was going through were worse then I could ever imagen. Makes me sick to the stomach thinking that most of this is my fault. If I just didn't ask for so much from her, Didn't make her feel like she had to do this. I wish the government would die.
I also wish a certain someone would stop being a fuckwit, and accept things and would do what he is meant too. I don't see how this is good for anyone, and how the reason he is not doing what he is meant to, has anything to do with him, or me for that matter.
It just hurts so much, knowing that I can't do anything to help.

Safety

2009-08-25T01:28:00.000-07:00

I've got Kirra to protect me.
She can be tough... When she isn't licking my nose.

I love my doggy.

2009-08-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

19/8

2009-08-19T02:02:00.000-07:00

My day was so good.
I woke up late for school, so I decided to go surprise Owen. That plan didn't work out how I wanted it too. The front door was locked, But then i remembered how to get in the back way. That didn't work either, I was completely blank. I finally got in, Then his dog Buster, run in front of me and layed down. He wouldn't listen to me and I was there for about ten minutes trying too get him out, He didn't even go for his bone.
I finally got him out and walked up stairs. And there Ryan, his little brother was. I creeped to Owens room, Hoping to wake him up. But no, He had to be awake on the friken computer.
So that failed.

We hung around for abit, Then got lunch. I got some burger and it was almost as big as my face. I felt soooo sick after.
We went for a drive out too Palm beach and only just made it home, Stupid petrol.
I had a really long and boring trip home, By myself.

I just watched a shitty episode of neighbours and I'm eating my really yummy dinner, which is rice and vegtables. Pretty boring but so good.

Good weekend.

2009-08-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I've been home in like 4 days. I love spending time with Owen, But I miss my mumma. Yes sad, but I don't really care.

After school on friday, I went straight to Owen's. Chilled for alittle bit, then got ready and went to Chatswood to see, Persist, Endless heights, Legions, Drown the hero, and Goonzilla. I pretty much didn't leave my seat, I was right in the way of photo's too, Love life >.< I had a good laugh at somethings, That I'm not going to mention. Then went back to Owen's.

Saturday, Owen and I just hung out. We got movies and watched them with his family, Well pretty much my family haha. We got:

Reaaaallly good movies.

Sunday, We didn't do very much, hung out, got an outdoor setting. That's about it. I ended up staying again that night.

I enjoyed my weekend ^_^

It's all about fast cars.

2009-08-12T00:42:00.000-07:00

The last three or so days have been pretty good. I've been in mostly a good mood and life is just ruling.

Monday it was Owen's little brothers birthday, so i stayed over and hang out. Me and Owen made his brother a cake, We put M&M's through it... It kind of failed and looked like mold at the bottom of the cake. We got pizza for dinner, Soooo good.

Tuesday just had a good start to it, waking up next to the most amazing person in my life. School was alright I guess. Everyone was stressing about some stupid English essay. That wasn't that bad, really. Owen paid me alittle visit after school and gave me Zappo's, I ate so many I felt soo sick.

Today was pretty average, I finally picked a monologue for drama, that I have to put on a showcase for in a week, Eeeeek. Then I went to Owen's got lunch and watched "Super sweet 16." Then had an exciting trip to Palm beach.

That pretty much leeds me to here, Sitting in my room listening to Lily Allen.
I'm pretty keen on the weekend.

Call it a day.

2009-08-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

Part 1: So, today. Where to begin with today, well firstly me and Owen got up at 7:30, got ready and had a cold walk to the bus stop. The bus driver was a desmond, but ohwell. We got the bus to the city, and headed straight to Newtown, sussed Resist/Various other shops and bought some goodies. Then we had a bite to eat at BURGER FUEL, which was SO good. Then we headed off back to the city, went and checked out American Apparel and bought some more goodies. Then we ventured back down into the city to get various things before we had to head home.

Part 2: We got the bus back to Owen's, and his mum was waiting for us. We hopped in the car and headed home, shortly after we got home we had to head straight back out to the Ferry as we were going to my house. When we got home Dad was here, and decided we were going out for dinner. So we went down to Ettalong and had some pizza, man that was good pizza. Anyway, so that brings us to now.

Here are some photos from the day, do not enjoy:

Food.

Mean Ice Cream, Burger Fuel.

This is Owen, on a bus.

I am actually retarded.

I am actually a stalker.

I am good.

Insert dick, here:

xo.

6:33 pm

2009-08-06T01:18:00.000-07:00

My week days are pretty much always the same. Wake up, Go to school, Come home, Go on the internet, Phone call to Owen, Sleep. Then it starts again, And repeat this for the next nine weeks. Haha. I'm fun.

Today was alright I guess. I got rid of my N award for history and handed the new assignment in a day early. WOO nerd. I left at the end of 3rd period, Didn't really feel like sitting in a room for an hour listening to stuff about year eleven and twelve, When really, I don't need to know. And also didn't feel like listening to my boring science teacher, repeat himself 100 times about shit all. So I went into Avalon and got sushi with Eleanor.

Then I went to Owen's house. He thought it was reaaaally amusing when he pushed me off the bed and I fell >.<

Cut out the boring ferry ride home, and here I am.
What a lovely story about my day. Haha.

OH andddd I love Neighbours. ^_^

Well.

2009-08-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

I now have like pretty much black hair.
Reaally not enjoying it. >.<
Before.

After.

7:41 pm.

2009-07-30T02:39:00.000-07:00

Sitting on my floor, freezing. Waiting for dinner. Being in a weird mood towards myself.
Eh, over it.

I'll wait for you..

2009-07-30T01:39:00.000-07:00

...At the end of the world.

What a bore,

2009-07-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

School is. I just can't wait to get out of there. First day back today just sucked. New teacher hates me already, I didn't do anything, What kind of vibe do I give off? Haha. Owen came and saw me after, it was gooood, It felt like I hadn't seen him in months. But it had only been like a night. Call me sad if you like, I don't mind. But now I'm back at home, bored as fuck, watching some show I used to watch when I was young. Its about people in a spaceship, It's reaaally weird.

I want..

2009-07-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

Pretty sure I need a job.
>.<

Maybe..

2009-07-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

I'm just gutless, That's why everyone leaves.

They get over walking all over me...

12:45 AM

2009-07-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

Usually I would be sleeping right now. But for some weird unknown reason I couldn't sleep.
Lurking Myspace is getting boring, my power keeps cutting out, and I keep hearing weird noises. It's etch.
So I'm off too read. Hopefully it will make me sleepy.

Alright.

2009-07-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

My holidays will pretty much contain; shows, sleep and my boyfriend.

Hardcore 2009- Carpathian, Cruel hand,blk out, break even, bad blood and more
Roundhouse 11th of july.

Burning up winter tour- Dropsaw, Mary jane kelly and Hopeless.
St ives 17th and Blacktown 18th of July.

The dogfight takedown tour- The war, No way out, Relentless and Phantoms.
Blacktown 25th of July.

The loft- The hollow, Earthlings, The rains. and Phantoms.
Newcastle 1st of August.

Say hi.

I'm pretty keen on doing nothing and just being the lazy fuck that I am.

Some people..

2009-07-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

..Need to wake up to themselves and realise that changing to fit peoples "scene" is pushing the people that have always loved you way. And putting the "old" friends or lovers in a place, making them think, that they have to change who they are, just too show they love you. Don't change into someone who you aren't, Becuase what's the bet, the new "cooler" friends leave you when you really need them. But those that were always there will be ready to catch you when you fall, and will still love you with every misstake you make.

Perfect..

2009-07-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

The dream most have.....

What's the point?

I miss her..

2009-06-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

More then anything.

23/12/92 - 5/12/07
Rest in peace, beautiful.

Hatred...

2009-06-23T02:54:00.000-07:00

I have so much for this one person in my life, who is meant to be one of the people you love the most. One of the people that is there your whole life. The one the teaches you the most important things. Well, that one person, Isn't around. And pretty much all I have learnt from him, was how to be a coward. I guess I can give him the credit of trying, but it's such a weak effort. I sit here remembering the reasons for my feelings toward him. All the things that were said and all the things that were done and all the feelings that were felt. And just simply being scared to wake up, or just walk out of the room. Things changed for awhile, because he realised it was the last chance and that he really fucked up. But then went and did it again, but in a different way.
I sit here, and I can look around and everything in this room I can tell you, was just a way of buying my forgiveness.

I've let go...

Hahah.

2009-06-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Eleanor sends me weird Youtube links.

hahahahah.

I don't know..

2009-06-15T18:59:00.001-07:00

Where I stand with people anymore. It just seems like they mean so much too me and too them, I mean nothing. I don't know my place with anyone anymore.

..Kinda sucks...

Grow up.

2009-06-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

Really, what the fuck have I done wrong, you have just filled your head with all this complete bullshit, trying to make me feel bad. When really, that's not it at all. I don't know where you got those stupid ideas from, but I'm over trying to convince you other wise.

I hate..

2009-06-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

Everything about you. Every lie that comes out of your mouth. All the shit you talk about me or others behind mine or their back. I'm so over the shit you put me through, but the only thing is... I can't let go of you.

Best..

2009-06-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

.. Of times.

Fuck, I was hot. (In the middle.)
I love my clothes. >.<
HAHAHAA.

so, pretty much..

2009-06-03T03:23:00.000-07:00

For the last week, I have been living in my room. I haven't gone anywhere, because i have some weird unknown sickness. But it's been good, because Owen has been over, and we have just been hanging out, being dorks.
Him coming over, and still saying I look beautiful when I have no make-up on looking sick and just mucking around with me, actually meant so much.

pretty sure, I'm one of the luckiest girls to have him.
even though, he is a silly mongoose. (HAHA, only he will get that.)

but yeah, I'm going to the doctors again tomorrow, that shall be interesting.

snowed under.

2009-05-31T03:27:00.000-07:00

I hate the feeling, of having too many things to do, and not having enough time. But I just keep making it worse for myself, making promises I can't keep, and leaving people behind.

I'm sorry, I will make time, I haven't forgotten.

I really don't understand.

2009-05-25T01:38:00.001-07:00

Why the girl's at my school, or just any girl, feels the need to stick their fingers down their throat.
I think it's so dumb to let their weight run their life's.
Sure like any girl, I worry about my looks, but I really don't see the point in doing harmful things like that too your body, the long term effects are so bad for you, and most girls just don't realise.
also, most of it is just an attention thing, telling people you do it, "bragging" about it. Why? no one thinks it's good.
you all really need to stop and realise what people are actually saying, and take a good look at your self and what your turning into.
and also what about, when you get to that "good weight", once you stop, you will most likely put all the weight back on, or your body will just be stuffed.
you all don't realise what the longer term effects of this really are, and really none of you were that "big" to start off with, you really need to be happier with in your self.

but hey, you probably wont take any of that in, so i'm going back to watch skins.

this.

2009-05-20T02:54:00.000-07:00

Is everything that I have ever wished for, everything that I've ever wanted.
Just by looking into his eyes, I know he loves me, and he knows I love him back.

the fear of being in the unknown.

2009-05-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

this sucks so hard.
i need to know what happening.
but i'm so scared to find out.
because, one answer will make everything.
and the other will break everything.

age.

2009-05-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

personally, i really don't see why age matters, in certain aspects of life.
like being to young or old to do things. i think that is dumb, because when you,
get to the point when its seen to be "okay" you will either be inexperienced,
or will abuse it, and bad things will happen.
in some things i really don't see there being a point to an age limit.
and telling people they are too old to do something is just mean,
you know that saying; "your as young as you feel." i think people should live
by that, so you don't have stupid age requirements holding you back from
the things, you have wanted to do so bad.
and i think younger people should use that saying as well, not in the way
to say smoking or other harmful things are good to do, but stuff that they
have wanted to do, and if harming there bodies is one, let them.
sure most of the time, age requirements are there, to keep us save, but i think
that if we want to do it, it should be our mistake if something was to happen.

just a little rant about some thing that happened in my day and made me in a shit mood.

life.

2009-05-18T03:17:00.000-07:00

Life mean's so many different things to different people.
a 5 year old is going to have different views on in then a 80 year old.
And something i have learnt lately, is that no one can tell you, your out
look on life is wrong. I have always been pretty open with the stuff that
i have been through, and got the whole response that you would expect.
but that's not what i'm looking for.
and no, i'm not saying this, too make it seem like my life is the worst.
Because i actually quite like my life, and i know there are people that are
worse off. all im saying is with the things i have dealt with, it has made me
muture in those situations.
im happy for the loving family i have, but everything would not be
the same with out that one certain boy, no this isnt a "OMG I TOTZ LOVE
MY BOYFRIEND FOREVER" thing.
its a thank you for being a best friend on and off for three years, then taking
the step to being a lover.

but anyway, im really sick and im tired, ill write more one day.
thanks.